


Hamete

by stillskies



Series: Deathmatch [2]
Category: Hikaru no Go
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-04
Updated: 2012-03-04
Packaged: 2017-11-01 02:43:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/351062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stillskies/pseuds/stillskies
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life is just one big game, and Saeki seems to be losing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hamete

**Author's Note:**

> Written for round 2 of [Deathmatch](http://hng-deathmatch.livejournal.com/). Originally posted (with author identification) on 08-16-2009.

**nigiri.**  
He's always been fairly popular - not _everyone in school knows me_ popular, but there are people he doesn't know who say _hi_ in the hallway, and he's had his fair share of notes stuffed into his shoe cubby - so it doesn't come as a surprise when, two sessions after he starts as an Insei, he's made friends with the entire second group and most of the first. By his second week, he's lost three games, been invited out by seven different people, and talked to _everyone_ , including the proctor.

So, it's a bit of a shock when he looks up and sees someone he doesn't know quietly watching his and Kitani's game. The boy stays until the opening of yose, then leaves. Kouji is so distracted by this unknown person that he inadvertantly places a stone that kills the entire upper corner. To make matters worse, he ends up losing to Kitani by seven moku - _seven_ \- and has to use the money he'd been saving for the newest import issue of **Batman** to buy Kitani lunch for a week.

Kitani is pointing out formations on the board, but Kouji is only half-following. He's so busy looking around, trying to spot the other boy, that when Kitani tosses a black stone at him, it hits Kouji in the shoulder.

"Ow," Kouji says, rubbing the spot. "What was that for?"

Kitani rolls his eyes. "What happened? You were totally winning until that move." He points at the stone in the center.

"I don't know," he replies. "Hey. That kid who was watching-"

"Ashiwara?" Kitani cuts in, frowning.

"Yeah," Kouji says. _So that's his name._

"Oh. You probably didn't meet him. He went to Hokkaido last week with his family. Apparently it's a family tradition or something," Kitani adds dismissively. "Anyway, he's number three in group one."

Kouji is already standing. "I'm gonna go say hi."

Kitani smirks. "Right. Don't forget you owe me lunch."

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbles as he makes his way across the room. Ashiwara is watching Ushio and Yamagawa's game now.

Quietly, Kouji sits next to him and looks at the board. Ushio is winning.

He watches in silence as they play out the end of their game - Ushio wins by one moku - and turns to Ashiwara as soon as Ushio stands to go record the results.

"Hi," he says, smiling. "I'm Saeki."

Ashiwara smiles back. Absently, he notes the way Ashiwara's eyes crinkle. "I'm Ashiwara Hiroyuki," he replies politely. "Nice to meet you."

 

 **fuseki.**  
Kitani finds him just as he enters the building. "Oi, Saeki."

Kouji drops his bag on the floor and toes off his shoes. "What's up?" He places his shoes neatly in the cubby. He glances down and notices that Ashiwara-san's aren't there. _Weird_ , he thinks, shoving his backpack on top of his shoes.

"Ashiwara just tore through here a couple of minutes ago and locked himself in the bathroom," Kitani tells him quietly. "I didn't get a good look, but his eyes were red."

Kouji's slippers are on his feet and he's moving quickly through the lobby. He knocks quietly on the door and listens intently. He can't hear anything from the other side. He knocks again. And again. And keeps knocking until he is practically pounding on the door.

Suddenly, the door opens and Ashiwara-san is standing there. His face looks a little wet, as if he's just splashed water on it. His eyes are puffy.

"Are you okay?"

Ashiwara-san smiles. "I'm fine."

There aren't any crinkles at the sides of his eyes. "Are you sure? Because you can always talk to me if-"

"I'm _fine_ , Saeki-kun," Ashiwara-san cuts him off with a laugh. The laugh sounds forced to Kouji's ears. 

They begin walking toward the lobby. Kouji glances at Ashiwara-san every so often, trying to read his expression, but the pleasant mask is back. He looks completely okay, and Kouji is beginning to wonder if maybe Ashiwara-san just had something in his eye.

The obvious answer is to leave it - if something happened, Ashiwara-san obviously doesn't want to talk about it. 

They reach the cubbies, and Ashiwara-san takes off his shoes, replacing them with his indoor slippers. Kouji catches a glimpse of Ashiwara-san's face as he places his shoes in the compartment. 

By the time Kouji can breathe again, Ashiwara-san is walking toward the match room. Kouji grabs his wrist and pulls him back.

He pulls a bit too hard, though, and Ashiwara-san crashes into him, and they fall to the floor. Kouji hits his head against the floor, and Ashiwara-san quickly stands, pulling Kouji with him. There is a small smile on Ashiwara-san's face, and Kouji doesn't think - he just reacts. 

He cups Ashiwara-san's cheek.

Ashiwara-san stills.

Kouji licks his lips. "If something was wrong," he says quietly, "you'd tell me, right?"

Ashiwara-san nods slowly. 

It seems like he's going to say something else when Kitani clears his throat. Whatever has come over them disappears, and they slowly step away from each other.

"Just letting you know that the games are about to start," Kitani says, looking at them curiously.

"Thanks," Kouji says, "we'll be right there."

Ashiwara-san is looking at him with a guarded expression. "Let's go, Saeki-kun," he says. "You're facing Mitsuko-chan for third ranking, aren't you?"

Kouji rolls his eyes and smiles. "Yeah. I'll challenge you soon enough," he warns.

Ashiwara-san says nothing and smiles. They walk toward the game room together.

 

 **chuuban.**  
Only two insei pass the exam the year he turns pro - Ashiwara-san and himself.

"It's about time," Kouji mutters, smiling for the **Go Weekly** photographers. "It only took me three years."

Ashiwara-san turns and grins at him. "It took me four," he says, and Kouji thinks that he's trying to be comforting. "Ogata-san said that if I didn't pass this year, Touya-sensei was going to kick me out."

He has a sudden flash of Ashiwara-san's red rimmed eyes and shakes the image away. _He passed,_ he tells himself. _Undefeated, even. There's no reason for him to make that face._

Kouji smiles weakly. "You're lucky - Morishita-sensei was going to _kill_ me."

Ashiwara-san places his hand on Kouji's shoulder. "I'm glad you passed, then."

For some reason he can't quite explain, his cheeks start to heat up. He's pretty sure that it's because of the heat - they're standing outside in the heat in suits - so he moves a little closer to Ashiwara-san. He figures this way, if he passes out, Ashiwara-san can catch him before he cracks his head open on the cement.

The corners of Ashiwara-san's eyes are crinkling. Kouji wants to ask why the other boy is so happy, but Amano-san has pushed the photographers out of the way and is leading them inside for the interview portion. Ashiwara-san's hand drops, and Kouji is suddenly cold.

He frowns, looks up at the sky, and shrugs.

"Weird," he mutters.

"Saeki-kun?" 

He turns and sees Ashiwara-san waiting for him on the steps. Kouji shakes his head again and runs to meet him.

 

 **yose.**  
"You're pretty close to Ashiwara," Ogata-san says, blowing smoke into the sky.

Kouji grimaces at the smell and moves a little further away. "We're friends," he replies, wondering what Ogata-san is getting at. Psyching an opponent out isn't Ogata-san's way, from what he hears, not that Kouji needs to be psyched out. He's doing a spectacular job of losing all on his own.

Ogata-san looks at him for a while. "He talks about you a lot," he finally says and takes another drag of his cigarette. 

Kouji shrugs awkwardly and doesn't say anything, because, really, what _is_ there to say to that?

"You could have ignored him, you know."

He doesn't have to ask when. "I could have."

Ogata-san raises an eyebrow at him. "It would have been easier."

They don't say anything, just stare at the street. Ogata-san's cigarette smoke drifts lazily through the air. 

Kouji closes his eyes and sees Ashiwara-san's smiling face. He smiles to himself.

When he loses the match by three moku, he doesn't worry. He's suddenly realized that he's just won a more important game.

 

 **sechi.**  
He's so close to graduating to seventh dan he can taste it. His opponent is looking at him over the goban and grinning. Kouji smiles back.

"Sorry, Ashiwara," he says apologetically. "If I don't move up before you, Morishita-sensei will-"

"Kill you?" Ashiwara cuts in innocently. "Unfortunately, I have my own reasons for wanting to win this."

Kouji raises an eyebrow. "And they are?"

Ashiwara smiles guilelessly. "I'll tell you when I win."

Kouji places the first stone.

The game moves quickly in a series of familiar patterns and he only stumbles once, but finds the answer quickly. By the time they enter chuuban, they are evenly matched.

Ashiwara places a stone, and suddenly they are in yose, and a large chunk of stones is dead. He looks up at Ashiwara incredulously and places another stone, trying in vain to revive the group.

In the end, he loses by three moku.

"Hamete," Kouji says in disbelief. "You actually pulled hamete on me."

Ashiwara grins.

He points at a star point. "If I'd gone there?"

"You might have won," Ashiwara replies with a shrug.

Kouji clears the board while Ashiwara records the result. When he leaves the game room, Ashiwara is waiting for him.

"So," Kouji starts. "What were your reasons?"

"If I beat you in the next ranking, you said I could call you _Kouji_. In _public_."

Kouji turns red. "I thought you didn't remember anything about that night," he says accusingly.

Ashiwara smiles. "I remember _that, **Kouji**_." He walks out of the building and starts down the stairs.

Kouji watches him and wonders if this is another sort of hamete, and, if he had made the right choice, if he'd have won. 

When Ashiwara stops and turns toward him with a huge smile, Kouji decides that maybe, just maybe, he didn't lose at all.


End file.
